In 53 BC, 16-year-old Cleopatra has been ruling Egypt for a year, now as co-regent, while her father enjoys early retirement.  This is 4 years before Caesar steps foot in Egypt (12 years before Antony).  The country is in dire financial straits.  There’s a lot of gold and jewels buried with previous pharaohs and it’s not doing them any good, so Cleopatra, like some rulers before her, decides to restart state sponsored tomb robbing, as well as anything else she can think of to raise funds, while engaging in covert diplomacy with the Roman empire (primarily through long-distance matchmaking).

Cleopatra's first relationship interferes with ruling the empire.  Marriage counseling is discovered as an unpleasant part of a job promotion.  A jealous wife anxiously notices how way too many women find her awkward husband appealing.  A souvenir maker in Thebes longs for his childhood sweetheart, a fiercely independent woman who will have nothing to do with him.  A formidable Macedonian warrior quits his job in Alexandria, and travels 2200 miles up crocodile and bandit infested waters to reach his soulmate.  A charming, unassuming mute girl continues her long game to make babies with someone else’s husband.  A priestess’ twin sister takes a very Egyptian interest in her brother-in-law … and a very unlucky deaf-mute orphan girl gets a reprieve.

See what it’s like to be on the receiving end of arguing couples when it’s your job.  How will the divine Pharaoh manage when his daughter puts him on an allowance?  Watch Cleopatra chase-slap her favorite scribe around and around the Aphrodite shrine on her palatial luxury barge.  Witness the possible origins of organized tourism, theme parks, franchised fast food, sports betting, … and the chicken dance.

It's a story about how people deal with unexpected situations and unintended consequences, and how sometimes the heart just wants what the heart wants.